![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Bet you thought you'd seen the last of me.
Aug. 9th, 2018 07:37 pmHey there, Dreamwidth. It's Cass, of Panopticon. The others don't want anything to do with this fucking site anymore, but I came back on a throwaway account to say a couple of things.
Seems like certain people have my motivations for doing what I did in retaliation against LB Lee SUPER WRONG. I'm not "teaming up" with Draven, and I'm DEFINITELY not "teaming up with" Tristan Grey. I mean, the latter is in prison, for fuck's sake. I have not spoken to Draven beyond letting him know about the Cultiples zine, and I never plan on doing so again. I also did not receive contact information for Tristan Grey-- nor do I want to. He's DESPICABLE, and has done despicable things. I received contact information for the administrative office of Black and Pink, and raised a concern about someone publishing information about their pen pal because it undermined the mission of solidarity with incarcerated LGBTQ+ people. And yeah, I know LB claim they were doing it to spread awareness of manipulative tactics in the plural community or something. But there are BETTER WAYS TO DO THAT than a) publishing correspondence from your prison penpal, no matter how disgusting and irredeemable a human being he was, or b) selling a novel-length callout post for $12 a pop.
I do not become or stay friends with manipulative people. That includes Draven, that includes Tristan Grey, and that includes LB Lee.
Do you want to know what my motivations ACTUALLY WERE?
My motivation for doing this was shame. I was ashamed of myself for falling for the same "I can keep you safe and protect you" act that I always fall for. I was ashamed of myself for looking up to people who will turn on you the minute you're too weird, too spiritual, or too non-medical for them. LB Lee were people we trusted with our cult experiences. Hell, they were the ones who MADE US REALIZE WE COUNTED AS CULT SURVIVORS IN THE FIRST PLACE. And when you're betrayed by people you confided in, people you told fellow survivors of the same cult to confide in as well, just because you don't fit their pathetic idea of a good survivor narrative? Yeah. YOU GO A LITTLE CRAZY, and sometimes you do shit you shouldn't.
I didn't know who to believe anymore. I mean, LB outright said, in that little callout of theirs, that they had no idea what was going on and were acting on a gut feeling of "weirdness" rather than any actual facts. So it got me wondering how much of the other things they wrote were embellished. And to be honest, I don't care if every word of what LB Lee said about the other people they published zines about was accurate. They sure seemed ready to publish actual libel about me and mine, and in this situation, that's what matters.
Which brings me to the other issue I have with them.
LB Lee have admitted, many times, that they are not survivors of the type of cultic manipulation that they so lovingly detail. And yet they profit off of the stories of survivors, while patting said survivors on the back for being such brave inspirational heroes. They've admitted that they have an interest in this research, and that they always have had an interest in the psychology of influence (especially where cults are concerned), but lately, they've decided that's unfashionable and adopted a Lemony Snicket-esque "this is my cross to bear" attitude towards this project. The project which they chose. And which they can, you know, stop doing at any time. Gods, their messiah complex is almost as bad as Neo^Draven's messiah complex was.
I'm not trying to get them to forgive me by posting this. I know what I did was terrible. I'm probably never going to forgive MYSELF for sinking that low. When I do something that's wrong, I do it with the knowledge that it's wrong, and even if I put on a show of gloating about it, it still keeps me up at night. But when LB do something that's wrong, they pat themselves on the back for it, because it's all for the greater good of Protecting Their Community.
Well, they can have their fucking community. We're not going to try and be part of it any longer.
~Cass
Seems like certain people have my motivations for doing what I did in retaliation against LB Lee SUPER WRONG. I'm not "teaming up" with Draven, and I'm DEFINITELY not "teaming up with" Tristan Grey. I mean, the latter is in prison, for fuck's sake. I have not spoken to Draven beyond letting him know about the Cultiples zine, and I never plan on doing so again. I also did not receive contact information for Tristan Grey-- nor do I want to. He's DESPICABLE, and has done despicable things. I received contact information for the administrative office of Black and Pink, and raised a concern about someone publishing information about their pen pal because it undermined the mission of solidarity with incarcerated LGBTQ+ people. And yeah, I know LB claim they were doing it to spread awareness of manipulative tactics in the plural community or something. But there are BETTER WAYS TO DO THAT than a) publishing correspondence from your prison penpal, no matter how disgusting and irredeemable a human being he was, or b) selling a novel-length callout post for $12 a pop.
I do not become or stay friends with manipulative people. That includes Draven, that includes Tristan Grey, and that includes LB Lee.
Do you want to know what my motivations ACTUALLY WERE?
My motivation for doing this was shame. I was ashamed of myself for falling for the same "I can keep you safe and protect you" act that I always fall for. I was ashamed of myself for looking up to people who will turn on you the minute you're too weird, too spiritual, or too non-medical for them. LB Lee were people we trusted with our cult experiences. Hell, they were the ones who MADE US REALIZE WE COUNTED AS CULT SURVIVORS IN THE FIRST PLACE. And when you're betrayed by people you confided in, people you told fellow survivors of the same cult to confide in as well, just because you don't fit their pathetic idea of a good survivor narrative? Yeah. YOU GO A LITTLE CRAZY, and sometimes you do shit you shouldn't.
I didn't know who to believe anymore. I mean, LB outright said, in that little callout of theirs, that they had no idea what was going on and were acting on a gut feeling of "weirdness" rather than any actual facts. So it got me wondering how much of the other things they wrote were embellished. And to be honest, I don't care if every word of what LB Lee said about the other people they published zines about was accurate. They sure seemed ready to publish actual libel about me and mine, and in this situation, that's what matters.
Which brings me to the other issue I have with them.
LB Lee have admitted, many times, that they are not survivors of the type of cultic manipulation that they so lovingly detail. And yet they profit off of the stories of survivors, while patting said survivors on the back for being such brave inspirational heroes. They've admitted that they have an interest in this research, and that they always have had an interest in the psychology of influence (especially where cults are concerned), but lately, they've decided that's unfashionable and adopted a Lemony Snicket-esque "this is my cross to bear" attitude towards this project. The project which they chose. And which they can, you know, stop doing at any time. Gods, their messiah complex is almost as bad as Neo^Draven's messiah complex was.
I'm not trying to get them to forgive me by posting this. I know what I did was terrible. I'm probably never going to forgive MYSELF for sinking that low. When I do something that's wrong, I do it with the knowledge that it's wrong, and even if I put on a show of gloating about it, it still keeps me up at night. But when LB do something that's wrong, they pat themselves on the back for it, because it's all for the greater good of Protecting Their Community.
Well, they can have their fucking community. We're not going to try and be part of it any longer.
~Cass
